Election got you all hot and bothered? For you, the week in SF sex

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Copped this Lana from Brick and Mortar's Woodshoppe election night party flyer -- cuz democracy is like whoa.

Yesterday morning I dug up my Obama mix, the CD that I made at this time four years ago when I was a wide-eyed political organizer and played for my team of adroit, grandmotherly union member-canvassers. Gah, my dislike for Will.i.am is well-known but this song gets me every time. Which is why I found myself on Election Day 2012 wearing a Moveon.org Obama T-shirt I donated $5 for, all abuzz with Obamastalgia. It's like a drug, this resurgance of a younger, less jaded president -- even if it's only for the time it takes for all that confetti maelstrom to settle to the stage. 

If similar feelings of Oval Office lust have got you all hot and bothered (or just immensely bothered, in the case of some of the California races BOO LA'S PROP B BOO PROP 35), here's a week full of sex events to help you blow off some steam, SF style.

Aural Sex: Seduction by Voice

Besides being skilled in the art of Japanese rope bondage, local sex educator Midori is skilled in the art of vocal seduction. Whether you are a sex writer gearing up for a spoken word event  (perhaps yesterday's Bawdy Storytelling inspired you?) or merely looking to begin seducing your prey before they even see any skin, her class today promises to teach you the tricks of sultry 

Thu/8 7-9:30pm, $20

Center for Sex and Culture

1349 Mission, SF

www.sexandculture.org

Bawdy Storytelling: Who You Calling a Dirty Whore?

Boldly dubbed the night of "sure things" by Bawdy founder Dixie de la Tour's press announcement, tonight's pervy storytelling event explores the "appallingly erotic and emotionally appealing" lives of performers Carol Queen, Ginger Murray, Bunny Von Tail, and Dixon Mason. 

Wed/7 8pm, $12-15

Verdi Club

2424 Mariposa, SF

www.bawdystorytelling.com

Brunettes are the masters

"It's done for charity, now do it for love" is not the least problematic website title we've heard -- particularly as, in the case of WhatsYourPrice.com, what you're "doing for love" is deciding whether you are "attractive" or "generous." Such semantic acrobatics for good old fashioned sex work we've ne'er seen. Nonetheless, when the site sent us the results of its recent survey among members (over 5,000 SF hetero men surveyed!), this is what we read: 

Based on the results of this study, San Francisco’s perception of “The Perfect Woman” is brunette (+$140.54) with blue eyes (+$43.79), a social drinker (+$19.60) who doesn’t smoke (+$16.28), who is a college graduate with a Master’s Degree (+$35.31). Overall, San Francisco males are willing to spend an average of $255.52 to go on a first date with their definition of “The Perfect Woman.” 

We do love smart... 

Sex workers' writing workshop

Gina de Vries, local sex worker scribe, SF State master in writing, and previous SFBG sex columnist offers this class for sex workers every second Saturday of the month at the Center for Sex and Culture. If this year's election, with its doleful condom mandate in LA and likely-to-pass Prop. 35, which will further marginalize sex workers, is any gauge, then this is one sector of society that needs its voice heard at higher volumes. Pick up the pen (stylus, whatever), start writing. 

Sat/10 2-4pm, $10-20 sliding scale

Center for Sex and Culture

1349 Mission, SF

www.sexandculture.org

Playing Well With Others whistle stop tour

After reading Mollena and Lee Harrington's user-friendly guide to joining the BDSM/kink community -- and interviewing Mollena about it for this fall's Sex Issue -- I was convinced they'd written the practical counterpart to 50 Shades of Grey's inspirational, if somewhat incomplete, smut story. Today, the duo post up to talk about some bonehead beginner's moves that get made -- and how to deal with "douchebag deviants." You know.

Sun/11 5-7pm, $15

Center for Sex and Culture

1349 Mission, SF

www.sexandculture.org

Make an Impact: Pleasing Your Bottom with Impact Play

Last we heard from Kink.com actor and sex educator Chloe Camilla, she was doing a tear-jerking performance piece at the ASQEW Festival at YBCA on her parents' reactions to discovering her life as a sex worker, her discovery of true love, and ensuing decision (based on her family's feelings) to quit sex work altogether. That's why we were so pleased to hear that the cheerful queer femme will be returning to sex ed -- at least, partially

"[My parents would] much prefer I abandon the identity completely, of course," Camilla told us via email when we contacted her to get the update on her work "but as my website and educational work is politically important to me (and the main way I get to be more complex than an object others control the images of), I've kept it up on a very part time basis. I mostly do other things at this point, but sometimes I'll teach or perform when the opportunity presents."

We'll take it! Celebrate her conviction by signing up for this class in impact play for tops, in the depths of Kink.com's porn palace. 

Sun/11 2pm, $35

Kink Armory

1800 Mission, SF

www.armorystudios.com